The Joys of Dressing Like a Slob, If There Are Any
I distinctly remember being a teenager, standing in my closet while listening to one of my parents remind me to “not dress like a slob.” My family was nowhere close to the Kennedys in terms of class and style. But my parents were bound and determined that we wouldn’t be the Clampetts of Beverly Hillbillies fame, either.
My parents would be rolling in their graves right now if they could see the terrible turn fashion has taken since the COVID pandemic. Of course, I am referring to the emergence of slob wear. I swear I am not making this up. Slob wear, the clothing from which the ever-so-modern slob-chic trend was birthed, is a real thing. You can look it up online. You can shop for it yourself.
What is slob wear? To my utter amazement, it is clothing intentionally designed to make you look like a slob. It’s supposed to be too big on you; almost tent-ish, if you will. It’s supposed to be so baggy that you could fit the entire Kardashian clan in the seat of your pants. Slob wear is supposed to make you look like you just rolled out of bed even though you have been conscious and breathing real air for the better part of six hours.
Image by Hans-Martin Fabritz from Pixabay
Thanks, COVID-19
So, from whence did slob wear originate? Look no further than the COVID pandemic. You remember the glory days of coronavirus, don’t you? Of course you do. We were all shut up inside our houses and left staring at the walls hoping they would cave in. At least then we could feel something. Anything would have been better. Am I right?
Anyway, we all know what happens when a person doesn’t go out for a while. Just shutting yourself in for a weekend could mean missing a shower or two, not shaving, or wearing the same worn-out sweatshirt you got for Christmas during the Reagan administration.
COVID shutdowns only made things worse. We learned how to get dressed for work, but only from the waist up. After all, that jerk from accounting isn’t going to see that you’re only wearing boxers behind your desk. Position your camera correctly and your boss won’t see the Grey Poupon stain near the bottom of your shirt — unless you quickly stand up to retrieve the Amazon delivery that was just left at your door.
Meanwhile, Designers Are Laughing
The whole COVID pandemic thing ushered in a new line of casual work wear for remote workers. But now we have slob wear to go along with it. Meanwhile, designers are laughing their heads off. They don’t even have to come up with anything new! All they have to do is figure out how to wreck what they already have on the rack.
That’s right, boys and girls. Now we can go out of the house looking like yesterday’s laundry pile. We can look like slobs while we walk the dog, run to Starbucks, and meet friends later in the day for a poetry reading.
I’m guessing the kids are loving this new trend. So are bachelors. Suddenly, pulling something out of the bottom of the laundry pile is en vogue. And if it smells bad, all the better. Foul odors are the crowning achievement when you’re trying to master the slob wear look.
I, for one, embrace the slob wear concept. Not for me, but for others. Random strangers dressing like slobs make my otherwise questionable style choices look like masterpieces of fashion genius. I’ve never looked so good!
