Target Shoppers Fighting for Cups, and They Aren’t Lord Stanley’s
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone goes and posts another video on YouTube. I’m not a big YouTube fan myself. However, I couldn’t resist the temptation to watch Target shoppers apparently involved in a winner-take-all contest of physical strength to see who would prevail in the purchase of Stanley cups. I was sadly disappointed to note that the aforementioned cups had nothing to do with Lord Stanley of NHL fame.
No, dear readers, the shoppers to whom I refer were duking it out for insulated coffee cups. They are called Stanley cups because they just happen to be made by the same company that produces Stanley tools. Yet that does not explain why people are losing their minds over these things.
It’s Not Just a Cup
In my attempt to understand the phenomenon, I did some research. I didn’t learn much beyond the fact that Stanley devotees claim that the merchandise they so covet is not just a cup. If that’s the case, what is it? Is it some kind of new-fangled, weirdly-shaped bowl created by aliens from the planet Kitschy-crap? Is it some kind of wearable? Or is it just a piece of plastic and metal with some sort of mystical power that creates instantaneous, but temporary, brain damage whenever certain types of people lay eyes on it?
I don’t know. The Stanley cup (as an insulated coffee, not hockey trophy) reminds me a lot of the Pet Rock of the 1970s. If you are old enough to remember that marketing gem, you know exactly to what I am referring. Otherwise, imagine millions of people from across the fruited plain spending good money to buy a rock from a department store vending machine, a rock they would affectionately name and treat as though it were the family dog.
Pet rock owners were by no means the same people who occupied the ‘head of the class’ position in grammar school. They weren’t even smart enough to sit in the corner and wear the dunce cap. And if you don’t know what that means, you are probably the perfect age to go out and fight with other Target shoppers for a $50 coffee cup.
By the way, Pet rocks are back. God have mercy on us all!
Too Good for Starbucks
Speaking of $50 coffee cups, I’m guessing the Stanley cup is even too good for Starbucks. Don’t take it down to your local coffee shop and ask them to fill it with your standard mocha cappuccino with caramel lime sauce, extra whipped cream, no foam, caraway seeds, and just a hint of nasal discharge at no extra cost. The Stanley cup is worthy of only the finest Canadian beverages normally sold at hockey games. I’m thinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and Molson Canadian.
I also get the impression that hockey players would probably love these cups, especially if they could take them onto the ice during play. Imagine fastening one to a hockey glove and using it as a brass knuckle of sorts. You could get in a good hit and be fashionable at the same time. Get the team videographer to capture a clip and you’re bound to go viral!
We Americans are known for doing stupid things. One of them is going crazy for cheap products that cost almost nothing to make but yet come with retail prices roughly equivalent to the Ivory Coast’s GDP. Right now, Lord Stanley is probably rolling in his grave. Not only are Target shoppers beating one another senseless for a cup that bears his name, the cup isn’t even large enough to contain all of the names of this year’s NHL Stanley Cup winning team. It might just as well be a Yeti cup!
