Solo Vacations Aren’t That Bad – And You Can Learn Stuff, Too

I recently took a solo vacation. For those of you who are vocabularily challenged, that means I went on vacay all by myself. No significant other. No kids, no grandkids, no friends or neighbors. I didn’t even take so much as an unsightly facial blemish that might have been construed, by people with strong observational skills and too much down time, as a travel partner.

So why did I do such a thing? Because I can. Actually, I just told a fib. I am truly, truly sorry. But anyway, I went solo because my lovely wife of so many years wanted to take a cruise. For reasons I shall not divulge here, joining my wife on her Caribbean adventure was not to be.

Yet being home alone was not on my list of fun things to do. I’ve been there and done that, with the possible exception of fending off hardened criminals with a collection of household items not normally associated with burglary prevention. Being home alone for days on end is like sitting through a Jane Austen movie marathon. It’s not for me.

So this was my first solo vacation. As you might expect, I learned a few things:

1. Dining Alone Can Be Fun

Taking a solo vacation inevitably means dining alone. It can be an awkward experience, for sure. People look at solo diners with grave suspicion – and perhaps a little sympathy admiration for the person’s bravery. I can have fun with that. In fact, I did.

During one particular gastronomical experience, I kept my head low and peered across the dining room under the brim of a baseball cap. I waited until I noticed someone staring intently in my general direction. Then without warning, I let out a long, loud, hacking cough obnoxious enough to send shockwaves throughout the greater metro area. Drop the mic. Right?

2. Hotel Rooms Are Bigger than They Appear

I also learned, much to my surprise I might add, that hotel rooms are quite spacious. All this time I just assumed that hotel building people stayed up late at night devising plans to cram more guests into smaller and smaller spaces. It turns out I was wrong.

There’s actually a lot of space in a typical hotel room if one packs just what one needs to survive while vacationing in a locale that actually has stores, just in case you forget to pack something critically important – like your CPAP supplies. Go figure.

For the last 35 years which, coincidentally, is about the same amount of time I have been married, I just assumed a couple couldn’t do a long weekend without 3 full suitcases, 2 garment bags, a backpack, large and small coolers, several pillows, and enough snacks to feed the entire Sri Lankan population. When I showed up with a single carry-on and my computer bag, the hotel room felt absolutely palatial.

3. People Don’t Know How to Stop and Smell the Roses

I took my solo vacation at a popular destination frequented by families of all socioeconomic strata and learned that, whether you are wealthy enough to throw money away or so poor that ice cubes qualify as an entree, people seem to have lost the skill of stopping and smelling the roses.

Everywhere I went it was the same deal: people rushing to get from one place to the next, often without even realizing what they were passing by. Little Johnny and Suzie are in tow, mostly because they are chained to their parents with leashes. Meanwhile, mom and dad are locked in a momentous battle for control. Who will decide which way to turn when they get to the end of the current path?

All in all, I would say my solo vacation went pretty well. I lived to see Monday morning, I managed to bring everything that left the house back home again, and I even got enough sun to actually turn my face and legs slightly reddish. I’d call that a win. But next time my wife decides to leave me, I’m going with her.