And You Thought Your Reno Project Was a Waste of Money…
If you were tasked with renovating ancient ruins, just how would you go about it? I only ask because I recently ran across a news story, which I have no reason to believe is anything but real, announcing the fact that Alexander the Great’s palace in Macedonia is once again open to the public — after years of renovations.
I have seen the before and after pics my friends, and I fail to see what was accomplished with a budget of $22 million. For that kind of money, don’t you think you could at least get…let me see…how about a ROOF! That seems like a nice option for a royal palace, don’t you think?
If Alex Were Alive Today
If old Alex were still alive today, I can imagine him sitting down with the lead designer on the reno project. I imagine a conversation that goes something like this:
Designer: So Mr. The Great, I invited you here today so we can talk about some of the options for your palace. I think it best if I just start listing some of them; you can tell me whether or not you and Mrs. The Great might be interested. Okay?
Alex: Let it be as thou hast said.
Designer: Okay, then. Great. Let’s start with new marble floors. Yay or Nay?
Alex: What is this ‘yay’ and ‘nay’ thou speakest of? Some sort of pig latin I know nothing about?
Designer: (giggles like a school girl) No, Alex. I mean ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on the marble.
Alex: Affirmative. The little lady liketh the marble.
Designer: Me, too. Me, too. How about newly fabricated columns for the courtyards?
Alex: Absolutely. Courtyards without columns be little more than basketball courts.
Designer: Walls. Would you like some new walls?
Alex: If thou canst fit them into the budget, sure.
Designer: Great. Now, here’s the big one: a roof. Would you like a roof?
Alex: Heck no! I simply refuseth to waste money on such frivolity! No roof!
The two would continue going back and forth until Alexander the great was driven to insanity by so many choices. He just wants to be done so he can go home and enjoy a nice cup of tea along with a game of Conquer the Nearest Unconquered Enemy.
Not a Lot of Bang for the Buck
Perhaps some would argue that a $22 million bill on a Greek ruins reno project represents a fantastic deal, but I don’t think whoever owns the property got a lot of bang for the buck, if you know what I mean. By the way, I also think that ‘Greek Ruins’ would be an excellent name for a biography on the life and career of one George Stephanopoulos. But I digress.
Getting back to the palace reno, I just feel like they could have gotten a little more for their money. Maybe they couldn’t rebuild the whole palace, but a splash of color would have been nice. A couple of bundles of shiplap and some white paint would have done wonders to make the place feel more modern. I mean, it is d-a-a-a-a-ted.
Maybe Put It Back
If this reno project had been featured on Trading Spaces, I have a feeling the property owners would be calling Hildi Santo-Tomas back to undo everything she did. At least I would. Believe me when I say I can find a lot of things to spend $22 million on, things that involve walls and a roof. But that’s just me.
If Greek ruins are your thing, it’s time to head on out to Macedonia to see the renovated palace once occupied by Alexander the Great. As a bonus, you won’t have to remember to turn out the lights when you leave. There are none!
